Do you trust to fate? Because I'm trust it. My First Love ..

Wherever, whenever I thinking about it, I always trust something that I called it fate.

Before I start, sorry if my english doen't fluent enough.

"Lord always have a way to creature everything", so I trust to Him.

I always keep it secretely for myself.

Nine years a go, when I was young, it's maybe when I'm 13 years old, There was coincidence, I follow my brother in law to the hotel that he must give to this hotel; that's a free magazine. But, in the hotel, there's a someone who did a captured photograph , I don't know it.
I'm a girl, a child that really can't calm. I run and run and I hit someone that I don't know, he said (for the first time I heard him) "Are you Ok?" I just saw his face because he's in busy to talk anything (hmm)..
But indeed, for the first time, I think I like that guy, a good guy until I cant speak anything, just 'thanks' hoaaa my tough was freeze that way, 
I don't know that my really first love.

I tell it to my brother in law, I tell that he is really handsome, have a great voice bla bla bla and my brother in law don't know him and he guess he just a crew in there. 
For the first time my heart is full in love but that's emptiness again :( huhu Can I meet up him again? My first love? And just say 'Thank you' to him? Because I don't know how life so difficult like this,,

One day, my brother in law give me the magazine that he works for in printed company~ and that magazine is printed by his company and bringing to me~ andddd.....
Duarr.. 
HE IS ! HE IS! WHAT HE CAN IN THIS MAGAZINE? HOWWWWW?

Yes, I see him~ someone that I hit back when I run~ in that magazine!
According to my brother in law, he said that maybe he's artist because he can inside the magazine.

Suddenly, I'm happy, I can save his face (until now) from that magazine, but suddenly I'm sad why I can fell in love to someone who I can't reach? A singer?
But, I talk before~ I will see him in the right time in the future, I want he see me as a woman, maybe if he remember me~ Or maybe if he forget me~ I dunno what can I do~ OMG -_-

I always makes it easy, I said 10 years before~ that I met him up, but I read my diary, it's wrote by me Oh God,, it's clearly I wrote, at a 2005..

Readers,
Last August 25th I meet up him again, in his mini concert in my city, 
But, I can't do or say anything :'(
It's too much people.
But, I can do my word before, that I can met up him at the right time, yaa, I'm a woman now, I was 22 in last February, I was graduate as a Bachelor Of Economic, and now works too..
He return to 33 this years, 
He grow up too much than 9 years ago, more great, fatter (haha) and still handsome (u,u) but in my eyes, he's still my first crush, someone who kind and young~ he never grow up.

He never know me until now, but I always connected to him in twitter, instagram, etc not only with him, but also in his family, because I love his family too..
I connected with his brother in facebook too, I think they are know me now haha :D

I always afraid with this feeling, can it real? Can he know me? Also remember me?
Sometimes, I do something to him, as a couple~ I like when we wear a same colour shirt, haha sometimes I ask him to wear 'A theme colour couple' 
He's always wear the same colour like me! If I'm counting our coincidence, I think it's more than billion coincidence that we happened. For the start, our met up, our same date of born (19) until our illness, I know that he always go to doctor to check up his condition~ Lalala (ignore)
Until now, we always do the same colour shirt, even in his concert, (our 2nd time meet) he wear the colour that I want~ and said to his fans that he like that colour~ dark blue. And it's happen again tonight.

Far from there, I will keep this love for the rest of my life..
I don't know about Lord Reigns, about this fate that come to us or not, but I'm still trust the God have a reason why I'm still love him, even why we met up 9 years ago~
I don't know about my heart maybe when he want to getting marriage with someone, I just want to see his smile whenever I need, even when that smile is not for me~

But, CB, if you read this, just following my sign :
1. Always keep your health, I loved u since 9 years ago, now and I want to see you more than 9 years later..
2. 'Thank you' for your help 9 years a go (sorry I can't speak it when we meet in 2nd time that's too crowd cause ur fans hehe)
3. If you love someone now or later, whoever her, if it's not me I want you choose a woman that makes your day full of laugh~ when you're tired from works it's sing, act or anything, when you open your house and find her, you always smile~ you always laugh~ and forget about your worried in your office~ but, I  hope you can forget your past~ I mean plz not your ex girlfriend, I know how difficult you makes your life like right now when she leaves you..

Because I know you more than your fans know, more than you ever know, I just a woman who loves you with a full of my heart, I'm still waiting for you, whenever your girl is not like what I want, you can come to me~ and feels my unending loves :)

My secretly picture still mine, I will show you if we have enough time to see one each other,,
Next year, I hope I can reach you, I will works in Philipines and see u more closer, hopelly If I have a way~ hehe.. I want see you more closer than now..
Readers, you know what I mean..
He's someone that I tell you before, Christian Bautista :)


Do you want to see our coincidence colour? haha it's our colour, dark blue. See inside, he wear that colours..

               Dear Christian Bautista, how heavy day is, still smile ya :)

Hmm.. now I can breath enough, finally I can write it in my blog, I'm always afraid about my feeling but now I can brave to share it. Thanks readers you are awesome! :)

Jakarta, 23:23 PM